Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
