It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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