Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
