apparently the secret to your success is patron
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
