All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
