She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
