Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
