if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
