I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
