How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
