just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
