Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
