it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
