The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
