what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
