you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
