Dual....:-)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
