this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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