filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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