A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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