well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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