it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
