Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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