i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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