just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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