first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
