You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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