my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
