Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
