I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
