The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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