There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
