watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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