I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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