What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
