if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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