dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
