normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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