i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
