this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
