thus making me awesome and them whores
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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