yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Screwed.edu
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
