no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
