I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do herpes really smell.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
