It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
