She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
