the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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