Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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