Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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