Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
