What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
