i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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