I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
