Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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