then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
