from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize