Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize