For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
