my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
