escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
