Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
