'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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