I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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