A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
