someone get that fucking seahorse.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
